ALESTORM
Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum

Released on June 24th 2022 (Napalm Records)

Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum is pure, distilled pirate madness in album form. It’s a tsunami of metal, humor, and total chaos that hits harder than a tidal wave of grog. Alestorm has outdone themselves.

Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum is not just an album—it’s a nautical assault on your very soul. Alestorm has ascended to new levels of pirate insanity with this release, blending unrelenting metal fury with enough rum-soaked chaos to make Blackbeard himself raise a tankard and scream “YARRRR!” If you thought Alestorm couldn’t get any more ridiculous, Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum laughs in your face, smashes a bottle of grog over your head, and drags you kicking and screaming onto the deck for one of the wildest rides of your life.

From the moment “Magellan’s Expedition” kicks in, the album launches you headfirst into a sea storm of blistering riffs, thundering drums, and accordion lines that hit harder than a cannonball to the stern. You’re not just listening to music—you’re braving an epic naval battle with a cutlass in one hand and a tankard of rum in the other, all while the ship’s on fire and the Kraken rises from the depths.

Every song is a relentless barrage of fun. “P.A.R.T.Y.”? More like a P.A.R.T.Y.-POCALYPSE! Alestorm doesn’t throw a party, they summon it from the depths of the briny abyss, and everyone who hears this track is legally obligated to don an eyepatch and spill their drink on the floor. The breakdown on this song? Absolute madness! It’s the sound of a thousand pirates slam-dancing in a whirlpool while a storm of riffs rages overhead. Try listening to “P.A.R.T.Y.” without punching a hole through the nearest table. I DARE YOU!

And then—THEN—comes the title track, “Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum.” This song isn’t a mere sea shanty; it’s a hymn to excess, a metal masterpiece forged in the flames of a pirate kegger from hell. Imagine a world where Odin and Poseidon themselves slam shots of rum on the deck of a flaming ship while Vikings and pirates mosh together in drunken glory. This track IS THAT WORLD.

Then there’s “Return to Tortuga”—an unhinged sequel to the already legendary “Tortuga.” This isn’t just a return, it’s a full-blown invasion! The absurdity reaches new heights, with pirate rap sections that’ll make you question your sanity and folk melodies so catchy that they’ll be stuck in your head until the next pirate age dawns. You’ll find yourself shouting, “WE’RE GOING BACK TO TORTUGA!” in public places, probably while swinging a plastic sword.

But don’t be fooled into thinking this album is all just fun and games. Tracks like “Under Blackened Banners” and “Magellan’s Expedition” soar with the kind of epic scale that could only be written by a band with the collective balls of a thousand pirate kings. These songs aren’t just bangers—they’re battle anthems for the age of the high seas, with riffs so heavy they could sink an armada.

In conclusion, Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum is pure, distilled pirate madness in album form. It’s a tsunami of metal, humor, and total chaos that hits harder than a tidal wave of grog. Alestorm has outdone themselves—if you survive the onslaught, you’ll be left grinning, drenched in seawater, rum, and probably a little bit of your own blood, screaming for more. This album is a pirate metal fever dream come to life, and it’s absolutely glorious.