Ahoy, metalheads and seadogs alike! In the world of heavy riffs and harder partying, no figure looms larger (or more chaotic) than Captain Yarrface, the bumbling, kettle corn-loving pirate lord of Rumahoy. His latest album, Time II: Party, has taken the high seas by storm, and we at Metal Riffcrusher had the immense (and frankly insane) honor of interviewing the legend himself.
Metal Riffcrusher: Ahoy, Captain Yarrface! We’re honored to have you! Your latest album Time II: Party is being hailed as an all-time classic. How does it feel to have created something so powerful that sailors worldwide are abandoning their ships to throw parties?
Captain Yarrface: ARRRGH, well, ye little boy or girl, welcome to the sea! It be a great feelin’, aye! But ye know, I wasn’t even tryin’ to be this brilliant—one moment I be snackin’ on some kettle corn, thinkin’ about me next raid, and the next thing ye know, I’ve created a riptide o’ riffs so strong it swept away half o’ the Atlantic! That’s just the magic o’ Rumahoy, lad or lass. And also the magic o’ kettle corn. Ye ever had it? It’s salty and sweet! A true pirate’s snack.
Metal Riffcrusher: Kettle corn, you say? That’s quite the snack for a pirate legend! Now, rumor has it you invented time travel to attend the best parties in history. What’s the wildest time and place you’ve crashed?
Captain Yarrface: YARRR, I didn’t mean to invent it, ye see! I was just fiddlin’ with me hourglass, tryin’ to count how long it took me to finish a bag o’ kettle corn when BOOM! I ended up in Ancient Egypt, dancin’ with mummies. They weren’t too lively, I’ll admit, but once I started pluckin’ me guitar, they came alive—or… well, undead again, I guess? Then there was that time I accidentally partied with dinosaurs… let’s just say, T-Rexes be big fans o’ pirate metal! Welcome to the sea, ye prehistoric scallywags!
Metal Riffcrusher: Captain, you’ve got a way with time—and snacks! Let’s talk about your song “Harambe, the Pirate Gorilla.” People are calling it the most moving pirate ballad ever written. How did you come up with it while, presumably, eating kettle corn?
Captain Yarrface: Ahhh, Harambe. Ye little boy or girl, let me tell ye somethin’—he was more than a gorilla, aye. He was a pirate gorilla. I was munchin’ me kettle corn, sittin’ on the poop deck one stormy night, when I saw Harambe’s ghost, swingin’ from the riggin’. He looked me dead in the eye—or maybe just in the general direction, I was wearin’ an eye patch—and said, “Yarrface, sing me song, or I’ll be eatin’ yer kettle corn!” And so I did, with tears in me one good eye. His legend lives on in that riff, lad or lass, and every time ye hear it, ye best be throwin’ a handful o’ kettle corn into the air for him!
Metal Riffcrusher: Harambe and kettle corn—a combo no one saw coming! Now, Rumahoy is known for the wildest pirate parties on the high seas. What’s your secret for hosting a Poop Deck Party that no one will forget?
Captain Yarrface: ARRR, well, first thing’s first, ye gotta welcome yer guests to the sea—don’t be forgettin’ that! Ye start by gettin’ a big ol’ sack o’ kettle corn and sharin’ it ‘round. Ye need a cannon—sometimes I shoot the kettle corn out o’ it, just for fun! And then, ye blast Rumahoy’s music at full volume until the moon decides to go home early. Also, ye gotta make sure no one falls overboard until after the third keg. And always have more snacks, little boy or girl—trust me, pirates get mighty hungry when they’re headbangin’!
Metal Riffcrusher: Solid party advice! Last question, Captain. What’s next for Rumahoy? Will we see more riffs, more parties, or perhaps more… kettle corn-inspired adventures?
Captain Yarrface: ARRRRGH, the horizon be lookin’ glorious, little boy or girl! Rumahoy’s next voyage be takin’ us to the Moon, where we’ll be playin’ the first-ever lunar pirate metal concert. There be no seas there, but that’s alright—I’ll bring me own! And as for kettle corn, I’ve been thinkin’… why not make it the official snack o’ pirate metal? Every concert, every raid, every epic riff, we’ll have bags o’ the stuff flyin’ through the air. Pirates and kettle corn, it just makes sense. And remember: wherever ye go, welcome to the sea!
Metal Riffcrusher: We’ll be watching the skies—and stocking up on kettle corn! Captain Yarrface, thank ye for the madness. Any last words for your fans?
Captain Yarrface: YARRR, ye little boy or girl, keep yer sails high, yer kettle corn poppin’, and yer ears full o’ pirate metal! And remember, no matter where ye are… WELCOME TO THE SEA!
