ARCH ENEMY
Deceivers

Released on August 12th 2022 (Century Media)

This album might as well be called Deceived, because that’s exactly how I feel after listening to it. Better luck next time, Arch Enemy. Let’s hope the next release isn’t as empty as the black hole at the center of this one.

Prepare yourself, fellow metalheads, because what we have here is Deceivers, the latest offering from Arch Enemy—an album that teases you with the promise of ferocious glory, only to pull the rug out from under you and leave you bewildered in a sea of “meh.” Strap in as we dive headfirst into this bizarre metal ride, which ultimately feels like a banquet where all the food is plastic. Yeah, it looks good, but try taking a bite—you’re going to crack a tooth.

Let’s kick it off with “Handshake With Hell.” A nearly six-minute opener? Sure, sounds epic! But within moments, you’ll feel like you’re in a musical purgatory where the song just doesn’t know what it wants to be. We get a clunky, jarring mix of harsh growls and clean vocals, like they’ve been Frankensteined together without a second thought. And those guitars? Sure, they’re there, but they’re like a fancy sword that’s been dulled by excessive polishing—shiny, sure, but utterly useless in battle.

“Deceiver, Deceiver” charges in with all the energy of a toddler on a sugar rush, but then it fizzles out faster than you can say “been there, done that.” There’s aggression here, sure, but it’s so calculated that it feels less like a genuine battle cry and more like someone checked the “angry metal” box on a corporate form. And “In The Eye Of The Storm”? Well, let’s just say that storm turns out to be a light drizzle, accompanied by an uninspired chorus that feels more like watching a weather report than experiencing the wrath of nature.

But wait, there’s more mediocrity! Enter “The Watcher,” which should’ve been menacing, right? I mean, the title alone promises someone standing ominously in the shadows, but instead, it’s like the watcher is just a bored mall security guard scrolling through his phone. It’s slow, it plods, and by the end, you’re left wondering why you’ve been subjected to four minutes and fifty-eight seconds of sheer nothingness.

Just when you think it couldn’t get any stranger, we have “Poisoned Arrow,” which is oddly short for a track that promises so much. But instead of a swift, piercing shot to the heart, it’s more like someone threw a slightly damp Nerf dart in your general direction. A couple of cool riffs here and there, but honestly, you’ve heard better at a middle school talent show. Things start to heat up a bit with “Sunset Over The Empire,” which at least gets your head moving, but in the way you’d nod along politely while someone explains the intricacies of plumbing systems—not exactly riveting stuff.

Then we hit “House of Mirrors,” and by this point, I was expecting some kind of surreal mind-bending madness. But no. It’s another cookie-cutter track, with vocals and guitars that just repeat the same formula over and over, as though Arch Enemy is caught in a mirror maze of their own making. Then comes “Spreading Black Wings,” and let me tell you, if these wings are supposed to spread across the sky, they’ve clearly been clipped. The track drags itself along like it’s doing a chore—there’s no soaring here, just a gradual plummet.

Now, I need to talk about “Mourning Star.” A minute and thirty-six seconds of atmospheric filler that sounds like it was written at 3 a.m. when someone forgot they needed another track to meet the album’s runtime. You blink, and it’s over, leaving you more confused than intrigued. Finally, we stagger to the finish line with “One Last Time” and “Exiled From Earth.” And let me tell you, this is less a climactic finale and more of an awkward Irish goodbye. You keep waiting for the punch, for the twist, for something, but all you get is the sensation of Arch Enemy quietly slipping out the back door, leaving you with half-empty riffs and a sense of “Is that it?”

Look, I wanted to like Deceivers. I really did. But it’s like showing up to a feast and discovering that all the dishes are lukewarm leftovers. There’s a shell of the Arch Enemy we know, but it’s hollow inside, filled with safe, uninspired metal-by-numbers tracks that feel less like art and more like someone forgot what made the band compelling in the first place.

This album might as well be called Deceived, because that’s exactly how I feel after listening to it. Better luck next time, Arch Enemy. Let’s hope the next release isn’t as empty as the black hole at the center of this one.